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| Friday, October 16, 2009 |
| LEADER? |
haha last post was a more general overview of my life on the surface. Well i wanna get more emotional and get in depth of my updates and mentality.
Well personally, I'm not so much of sadness like how I used to be lolx. I'm quite happy for the past few months especially after i went home for a short visit. I had a wonderful 3 days holiday back home, though nothing out of the norm. But, as you all know, the best entertainment i enjoyed the most is not about the venue, or the things i do, it's more of the company. It's just great to be with the one you desired to be.
Ups n downs happens. Though I've been through quite abit in relationship, and I do consult lots of people when i'm feeling down, but now that my close friend are having a harsh moment, i just don't know what to say to him or how to make him better. Well i hope he's strong and recover soon.
Anyway back with my observation in Singapore. Singaporeans, in general, do lift up the kiasu title. Yes, those that i mix with, they're quite abit of perfectionist and they want everything to work out flawlessly. But you want my honest words? I feel that Malaysians are capable of competing with the local here in many aspect. Of coz, you wonder why our lovely country is still quite far lag behind in many aspects relative to our neighbour. I think the reason is quite obvious and i don't have to mention to you at all.
Anywayz i'm not much of a good position to comment on this issue. My father's 2 sisters are fortune tellers. When I was young, they told me that based on my physical structure of my face and palm, I'll either be a general, or a crook. But either way, I'll be a leader. Honestly I don't trust all this fortune telling thingy, and at least from what i know about my own character, I hate making decisions. I hate carrying responsibilities, I don't like to control people and I am very passive. I was wondering how can it be true. But let me show you the statistics. During primary school, I was selected by surprise as the head of prefect and it was really a controversial decision coz i was those kinda "rascal" prefect along with Julian and others. Many even predicted that I would be fired but who would expect me to reach the highest peak of the hierachy. Yes I was heavily pounded during the last days of my standard six, and i was condemn to the max for being the worse head of prefect coz i didn't perform my task well. During secondary 1 and 2, I was head of librarian and again I was "fired" coz i didn't perform the task well enough. Again the question arose, why was I even selected in the first place? what quality do i have to become the head? Btw, the word "fired" was quoted coz i wasn't actually fired, but i was not allowed to resign as it's their so called policy so i allow them to fire me anyway.
Continue with the statistic, form 4 came and i was somehow the class representative. How and why was i selected, again question. Again I didn't last long actually. From college to Uni and now to postgrad, I didn't hold much position as a leader actually, but everytime there's a group work or assignment, I will naturally be selected as the group leader. First day where i don't even know my coursemates in this postgrad course, i was automatically selected as the class rep. and now it's been about 2 months and i have a couple of group work and till now i'm always the leader of the group, and each time it's a different group member, but nontheless i'm still the group leader.
You get my point? I'm not boosting anything. I'm just wondering why am i always the selected one to be the leader though i don't have the leadership qualities? So base on the statistic, i start to believe in what my aunty said. But I'll not change my mentality, i still stick to the fact that i'm not a leader, never will be... |
posted by Douglas @ 5:04 PM  |
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| Monday, October 12, 2009 |
| boring post... |
Woooooooo. This place is left to rust. lolx. Yeah it's been so so so long i update this page. Yeah people have been asking me, am i ever gonna revive this blog or not. Ok first let me apologize for not updating, you can say that i'm busy, or you can say i'm giving an excuse or being busy. up to you how you want to see it.
Anyway this post will be a mix update again, about me, myself and I. So no interesting photos or story.
Man, I don't even know where to start and i'm just crapping to make the post look lengthy. Ok I shall stop crapping and start writing something meaningful.
Ok, my life in Singapore. It's been about 2 months since I'm here. And to be frank, the only place I've been to is around Jurong area, which is where I stay and where my campus is. Obviously the reason would be that during day time weekdays I'll be in campus, during night time I'll spent most of my time in the campus too studying lol. NO, I'M NOT BEING A NERD AGAIN. Just that, this course is pretty difficult, content wise and intensity wise. It's module based, and we focus on one subject at a time. I.e, we have lectures only for one subject consecutively for 2 weeks, and then we'll have a exam on the 3rd week. After that this subject can be thrown to the basket, provided i pass of course. This is where the difficulty is, although only focusing on one subject.
As you all know, or not know, this is a joined-degree program by NTU, ranked 73rd overall now, and TUM, one of the top 3 elite University in Germany, with a history of at least 6 noble prize winners from the Uni. Ok, the numbers are good, but actually to be frank, NTU is not that good in terms of teaching quality actually. There's a rumours saying that NTU will not hire their own PhD grads as Professors there, reason...use your imagination la...TUM, acronym for Technische Universitaet Muenchen, on the other hand, is still very prestigious. Unfortunately, we will not be going to the campus in Munich for any lectures. The course is designed such a way that some of the courses are taught by TUM Professors, and they will make their way to NTU for 2 weeks as guest lecturer. Last 2 weeks, we had the dean of Electrical and Information Technology department Professor Ulf Schlichtmann to teach us Design Methodology and Automation. This module that we're currently doing now, Professor Andreas Heckersdorf is giving us lecture on System on Chip Solution and Architecture. After having 2 modules from NTU prof, and now German Prof, you can see the huge difference in teaching quality. Now that i think back, though my previous Uni wasn't that prestigious in terms of ranking, but we had good quality Professors.
That's about my study life. Other than studying, sports is my main entertainment now. I've been active in badminton again, after so long and i'm slowly regaining my strokes and footwork, though i'm far lag behind if you compare my standard when i was in primary school. I do play basketball too once in a while, and one thing about Singapore is that their sports facility are very very very well maintain, regardless of those public area or private sport complex. The only problem is that, to get a good and cheap badminton court, you have to book very advance. It's quite sad to see that, despite their good facilities, and averagely high standard sports level, you don't get to see Singaporean hitting the limelight in sports world. They're just lag of manpower, and luck i would say lolx.
I will do more update soon, but for now that's about it...
BORING POST.... |
| posted by Douglas @ 1:28 PM |
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| Wednesday, July 08, 2009 |
| Doubtful |
As we get older, things are just more complicated. We can always simplify things by ignoring certain factors, but the question is what factors can be omitted, what not. Often we overlooked things, and just because we are in our comfort zone, we just refuse to accept the changes in life.
When it's no more an individual but a couple or group, we can't just think of our own welfare. We have to take consideration of ourselves and the other parties in many aspect. I would say the first thing is value in life. The main factor.
I wish I can get away from all those and be like how it used to be. I want assurance. I don't expect a 100%, as nothing is 100%. We don't know what our future lies, but at least I want to see a clear path ahead, a direction, a way, a route.
I am doubtful, and I am lost. I've lost direction and I've lost grip. |
| posted by Douglas @ 9:36 PM |
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| Tuesday, July 07, 2009 |
| Mix Update |
I just can't let this blog die so I should do some updates more frequently especially that I'm free at the moment. Okayz, here's the deal. I quit my part time job effective 1st July. Since then I've been doing basically quite nothing.
I've been missing out so many updates that I'm not sure where should I start again. I want to talk about my Australia trip but it has been quite some time already and so I guess I'll just forget it. I'll just update whatever i can remember.
Okayz, I've been having a honeymoon period from April and in May. I had 1 of my best birthday ever in 24 years of life, but I'll not tell u the details sorry. The month of June had been the month of fear + war + fatigue. I've been fighting and fighting and fighting but in the end, yes though victory has been achieved, but too many casualties in it that I really don't know if the victory is a well deserved one. Okay, I'm saying it in a metaphor way, so I don't really go into a physical fight or something. In this part I just prefer to be abstract abit, coz I just don't want to expose too many things. All I can say is that, I had a terrible month of June.
July didn't start off good either. The "war" continues and only recently it stops. But I still have some good moments. Well, as much as I am quite part of the "german culture", I tend to like products made of Germany lol. And so, I received a special gift, a surprise gift from someone special. It is one of my favourite fragrance...
The gift consist of Boss by Hugo Boss 100ml Eau de Toilette in a bottle form, a 40ml Eau de Toilette in a "ball" form, a small bottle of portable perfume, and a facial wash. Well I've been eying on this perfume for some time already since I was introduced to it. I actually thought of using up some of my salary from the part time job to get it, but it's still kinda expensive. This gift means so much to me, and i love it.
Despite all the sales going on around, I still didn't get much stuff for myself as I don't have much money. I still have a whole lots of things to shop, but just can't afford. Sigh...
Other than that, hmm there are some bits n pieces of good times I had. I guess I'll just save it up for the next time... |
| posted by Douglas @ 7:33 PM |
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| Tuesday, June 23, 2009 |
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It's been long since i update. I always have to start with this phrase isn't it? Nah not that I've lost interest in blogging, just don't have the time. I haven't even blog about the Penang trip, not to mention about the recent trip to Australia which wasn't that fun, and gave all of us a fear because of the Influenza A(H1N1). Don't worry coz I have no fever nor flu symptoms during the 10 days period i came back and till now no sign of it, so I'm still quite free from the virus. If I ever (touchwood) had it, it won't be imported case anymore but local transmitted.
Too much I wanna share, but just too limited energy to spit out everything. Just update a lil on my life now. Still doing the part time job in the law firm in Midvalley. Doing clerical/typing job but at the same time learned alot bout the law. Though I would prefer to do have a job related to Engineering, but I know myself that my availability is not so suitable for one. Law is something that I don't really like despite I follow the law quite well, and I know I can't escape from it no matter where I am. My dislike about law is more towards the way things is organized. Not sure how to explain that as I am not a good describer.
I am always dead tired despite only doing this job for less than 2 months and it's only a part time. Most of the time I really missed my Internship/Thesis life in Fraunhofer Insitute, Germany. Though I have much more responsibility there, I felt more relax doing my job there. Why? Because it's my interest. I tend to pay more attention to what I do and therefore more careful. I mean, It's just so easy to set a circuit board on fire, than to burn a piece of contract right? I just love doing all those lab work. Though most of the time I have to really move my brain compare to what I'm doing now, I still love it so much. I love solving mathematical problems rather than arguing or telling someone that they have been summoned to pay money. I love soldering work rather than sending letters or reading Agreement. I love troubleshooting electrical signals rather than finding which Clause or section the defendant have offended in terms of law.
Well that's more or less about my life. I'm just being kinda emotional these days. I've seen changes around me, people around me, and also myself. But I'm a person who's stuck in da past. I just love the old me, the old things around me. I mean, Yes alot of those changes are in a way a positive one, but the very fact that changes happen means, you're no more in your comfort zone. I'm inflexible person. I would just love to stay in my comfort zone. But I can definately handle challenges if I have to face them. Just as an example I learned how to survive in Germany for 4 years. But that is because I was forced to face it. I'm very passive. I have to be pushed to face challenges. Sometimes I just can't take it easy on things despite there's nothing much I can do. I am kinda "overprotecting" myself in a way. I tend to misinterprete words so easily these days, as if I've lost my sense. I felt like a kid now, or rather I am craving so badly to turn back time to be a naive kid again. Yes, I am still naive now, a naive adult loser.
Anywayz I'm quitting my job this month so I would have more time to update. Hopefully I would have the motivation to blog! |
| posted by Douglas @ 11:16 AM |
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| Saturday, May 23, 2009 |
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Loooong since i update. Still as busy as usual. Or rather busy during working hours, dead tired and sleepy after that. Now that I'm in office during saturdays and normally bosses don't come so early, I get to blog.
Life seems pretty enjoyable despite the busyness and tiredness throughout the past few weeks. Had some wonderful outings and I know rumors or worse criticism has been circulating around me about myself. Not that I don't care, but all I can say is that human tend to see things on the surface. They judge based on the surface and therefore made conclusion before truly understanding the situation. I believe a wise person, or rather a true friend will understand me and probably change their thoughts on me when they get to know how I feel bout things. Anyway, seems abstract but I'll not go in details.
Recently, I've heard horrible news from friends, newspaper, media etc., such as raping, nude pics taken, murder, slaughter, etc etc. Where is the love?? What's wrong with these people?? I'll talk about the nude pics thingy since the others, I can only pray and hope that these people are brought to a fair justice and hope no more of his will happen. I bet u guys have read bout it in The Star newspaper and someone wrote a letter too saying the same opinion as i have. It's about this gal filing a police report of a threat by her ex-boyfriend to pose up her naked pics on the net if she doesn't pay a "break-up" fees. The question is, Why da hell do u allow someone to take naked pics of yours? I ask this question not just to a boy-gal relationship, but even to married couples. I mean, yes I know we do crazy things and we sometimes go over the limit when we're commited to the other person. We can do almost everything for them to make them happy. But not like that.
It's just the same thing. Alot of them aware of the danger of smoking to themselves and the people around them. But they still smoke. Why? Why do when u know it's harmful? Most of them will say to me that I'll understand them when I face the same stress level as them. Ermmm, there are many other ways to manage stress my dear "friend", and smoking is the last solution in that list. Some will also tell me it's peer pressure or worse, some will say it looks cool. You know why humans are different class of species? Because we have the ability to make our own judgement on things!!! So please don't tell me that you smoke or do other things you don't want to because people around you asked u to do so. If you have your stand, and you are firm with your principles, no one can shake you from doing those. I won't say that I'm a very strong person, but at least in terms of this, I'm good at it. I have never done things that goes against my principles no matter what type of stress or pressure I face. You know how i manage stress till this far? I think of my love ones. I think of the things they prevent me from doing for my own good, eventhough I was lost in contact with them for some time. I do my hobbies to release it, such as blogging, playing guitar, sports. I am not just talking about smoking here but in general to the things that you don't really want to do. Don't do it for whatever reason k? Everything comes with a consequences and sometimes it can be very very bad. Think before you act. |
| posted by Douglas @ 3:49 AM |
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| Monday, May 11, 2009 |
| No time for updates, yet... |
Yeah all i can say is that I'm working part time now, but still work from 9-6. I have to go office at 7am in da morning though since my father still have skul. And I normally sleep at 2am in da morning coz i will have a nap right after my dinner except for fridays. it's kinda shitty to do it such a way coz it's unhealthy. Well it's 1.35am now and i better go sleep otherwise i'll need loads of kaffein later today.
I just want to post up the new snow cap i bought which i've been looking for it for damn long time di. I would prefer to have a white one but too bad they don't have. So black will do. For the time being, I'll just present a photo of it taken wif my N70 front camera, and a photoshop version. Yes i know my photoshop skill sux...but watever....i'll be back wif more when i have the time...
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| posted by Douglas @ 7:17 PM |
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| About Me |
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Name: Douglas
Home: KL, WP, Malaysia
About Me: I am what I am. Read my blog and u'll probably get to know me more.
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