So, it is official. Well it was official about a month ago anywayz, just didn't officially announce it on facebook. This month was honeymoon for me. I have been enjoying every moment with her even if she's physically not around me. By thinking of her and whatsapping her just made me smile the whole time. She's wonderful. Now I can see why she is still being pursued by people and her ex. I must say I am fortunate to have her, and hopefully able to keep her with me.
Just a little background on how we started. We only knew each other 5 days before we got together. Yes it is not a typo, but 5 days and amongst, only 2 days we met up. That stirs up alot of controversial critics on us, definitely. There's a long story or HIStory about it but I ain't gonna talk too much. Just a summary, her close friends aren't too happy about the fast pace relationship due to her past experiences. Anyway back to us. The spark to the fire was when I just jokingly talked about closing my "market" for someone. I accidentally made her upset by telling her no worries she could find much better person in the market than me. That was the time she revealed her crush on me and then everything is sound. I think the surprise cheese cake i bought for her out of no where speed things up. Wasn't what I planned too initially. I actually was already doing an origami bouquet of roses for her and thought of officially asking her to be my girl after giving the flowers. But i guess i can't control things, especially feelings aint?
Speaking about the bouquet of roses. I am super duper proud of myself. Not just the effort but the end product was superbly beautiful, totally out of my expectation. Furthermore, I have totally zero knowledge or skills on flower decoration. I am an engineer for gawd sick. But yeah, I did it and I am glad it is given to someone who deserves it. If you have my fb you should go check it out.
So the annoying part comes. Her side of friends, including the one match made us got pissed on us because we started too quickly. Yes indeed. But I finally realized one thing. Love and relationship is not fourier transformation or schroedinger equation, though it is as complex as that. The key is i can't calculate percisely what will be next. I used to criticise my ex for speed marriage but at least i know for one she could be real with her fiance. I should take back my doubts and hope the best for them. The same way i hope i was treated. Actually it got to a point where i was annoyed and virtually lost some friends. Oh well, all i can say is I am happy now and i don't quite know what the future is. It could even be that tomorrow something happen to me. so, live in and by the moment!
This few days have been paradise for me. And also kinda thunderbolt. I now finally understand some things are uncontrollable. But I still have my reserve. It is scary to be so enjoying but also fearing at the same time. Perhaps its me. When i go I go all in. So its either i fly sky high or i fall hard down to earth.
Hmmm, it was a little due to match making by Jasmine. She intro her "dumb" jimui to me. Yeah, dumb she call her. She say this jimui is really funny and giler giler. and dumb because she easily trust people. and she's lame, just like i am. Just by listening to the description of her, makes me felt a lil interested. Who doesn't like funny adorable girl right? So i went to search her fb, check out her photos and turns out she's kinda cute to my taste. But wasn't "that" serious about adding her. Mainly due to my lack of BALLS! haha.
So jasmine tried harder, and hard sell me in front of her. Her exact words to this girl was "he's not so good looking but smart and nice guy". I kinda like this comment since it is original about me. So after saying some nice stuff bout me to her, she went checking out my fb. Guess what, she told Jasmine I am "quite good looking". That is the confidence boost! I still can't believe it and i browse my fb photo over and over again, just to find myself puking at myself the whole time. Maybe she saw my previous muscular profile pic and she thinks i'm "dai zek". Indeed that angular shot was a super buffed up pic, while in reality i am only a skinny but toned up guy. So i quickly tear down that pic and put another one. And she still think its handsome. Bish! Never in my life I am being labelled "handsome". She is giler giler!
Ok so finally i have the guts to add her on fb, and sent her pm. She replied almost instantly. And that was during working hours. just a few lines in fb, immediately we moved to whatsapp adi. WHATSAPP!!!! means i got her number and she have mine. Ok, cut the content of the chat, but it was non stop since Wednesday morning all the way till Thusday night and even Friday morning. And I asked her out for dinner. The chats were so sweet and crazy that i laugh like mad, she also told me she laugh like mad. How true it is i don't know. But yeah its crazy. We barely knew each other but we've been sharing our past, our private lives, even exchanging photos of our lunch and dinner. Its almost like we were together, except we are kinda complete strangers. Its been so long i felt that way.
So, first date. She super meat and sausage lover. So of course I bring her to my comfort zone - German cruisine. I pull out the chair for her to sit, help her with the menu, chat laugh chat laugh and all. Was great. I even got her a small gift, which is a set of cute DIY papermade photo frame, with cute mini clips and rope so she can hang up all her memories she had from her travelings. later on, we went marina bay sand to watch the lovely night view of singapore. sat by the riverside and it was one of those experience i always wanted, but obviously it didn't happen before her. I admit I am already having some small crush on her. Then we had some coffee at mbs mall, and i showed once again my gentlemen-ness by pulling her seat for her. Later, knowing so clearly i will miss my ride home, I still made effort to send her right down to her apartment lobby. I think i did everything right. And later that night we still continue our whatsapp, and she mentioned she like the pressie. Ahhhhhhh. Wonderful. And out of randomness, we planed for another dinner outing the next day. Well, mainly she want to treat me back, so we agreed upon frog porridge. And today was so much tiring outing, so we ended early. but to me was enjoyable one. And until now we are still whatsapping. lots of sweet stuff again, maybe "overflirt" i felt.
Soo sweet right? Well, I didn't wanna go too fast into courtship yet since I barely knew her. I wanna know more first. But i can see my crush for her is growing fast despite the short period. So here come the sustainability part. Honestly, I can't sense how she felt about me. Yes, she claimed i did made her smile. Yes till now still sweet stuff, but i can sense that she is those quite outspoken type and could be treating all her other friends the same. And really, i might be wrong. But she perhaps just enjoy a funny friend, more than an interest in me. Hmmm.
My next step ? continue with this. And I will try to sense what she feel bout me. If i am certain, I will go all out. Just before i end this, a major let down is that despite she thinks i'm "good looking", i am still lack of size she prefer. She wants a lil "fatter" or rather a bigger version of me. Does that matter? Could be. I am not prepared to fall yet, but I am definitely prepared to try!
SWEEEEEEETTTTTT!
Hmmm, it was a little due to match making by Jasmine. She intro her "dumb" jimui to me. Yeah, dumb she call her. She say this jimui is really funny and giler giler. and dumb because she easily trust people. and she's lame, just like i am. Just by listening to the description of her, makes me felt a lil interested. Who doesn't like funny adorable girl right? So i went to search her fb, check out her photos and turns out she's kinda cute to my taste. But wasn't "that" serious about adding her. Mainly due to my lack of BALLS! haha.
So jasmine tried harder, and hard sell me in front of her. Her exact words to this girl was "he's not so good looking but smart and nice guy". I kinda like this comment since it is original about me. So after saying some nice stuff bout me to her, she went checking out my fb. Guess what, she told Jasmine I am "quite good looking". That is the confidence boost! I still can't believe it and i browse my fb photo over and over again, just to find myself puking at myself the whole time. Maybe she saw my previous muscular profile pic and she thinks i'm "dai zek". Indeed that angular shot was a super buffed up pic, while in reality i am only a skinny but toned up guy. So i quickly tear down that pic and put another one. And she still think its handsome. Bish! Never in my life I am being labelled "handsome". She is giler giler!
Ok so finally i have the guts to add her on fb, and sent her pm. She replied almost instantly. And that was during working hours. just a few lines in fb, immediately we moved to whatsapp adi. WHATSAPP!!!! means i got her number and she have mine. Ok, cut the content of the chat, but it was non stop since Wednesday morning all the way till Thusday night and even Friday morning. And I asked her out for dinner. The chats were so sweet and crazy that i laugh like mad, she also told me she laugh like mad. How true it is i don't know. But yeah its crazy. We barely knew each other but we've been sharing our past, our private lives, even exchanging photos of our lunch and dinner. Its almost like we were together, except we are kinda complete strangers. Its been so long i felt that way.
So, first date. She super meat and sausage lover. So of course I bring her to my comfort zone - German cruisine. I pull out the chair for her to sit, help her with the menu, chat laugh chat laugh and all. Was great. I even got her a small gift, which is a set of cute DIY papermade photo frame, with cute mini clips and rope so she can hang up all her memories she had from her travelings. later on, we went marina bay sand to watch the lovely night view of singapore. sat by the riverside and it was one of those experience i always wanted, but obviously it didn't happen before her. I admit I am already having some small crush on her. Then we had some coffee at mbs mall, and i showed once again my gentlemen-ness by pulling her seat for her. Later, knowing so clearly i will miss my ride home, I still made effort to send her right down to her apartment lobby. I think i did everything right. And later that night we still continue our whatsapp, and she mentioned she like the pressie. Ahhhhhhh. Wonderful. And out of randomness, we planed for another dinner outing the next day. Well, mainly she want to treat me back, so we agreed upon frog porridge. And today was so much tiring outing, so we ended early. but to me was enjoyable one. And until now we are still whatsapping. lots of sweet stuff again, maybe "overflirt" i felt.
Soo sweet right? Well, I didn't wanna go too fast into courtship yet since I barely knew her. I wanna know more first. But i can see my crush for her is growing fast despite the short period. So here come the sustainability part. Honestly, I can't sense how she felt about me. Yes, she claimed i did made her smile. Yes till now still sweet stuff, but i can sense that she is those quite outspoken type and could be treating all her other friends the same. And really, i might be wrong. But she perhaps just enjoy a funny friend, more than an interest in me. Hmmm.
My next step ? continue with this. And I will try to sense what she feel bout me. If i am certain, I will go all out. Just before i end this, a major let down is that despite she thinks i'm "good looking", i am still lack of size she prefer. She wants a lil "fatter" or rather a bigger version of me. Does that matter? Could be. I am not prepared to fall yet, but I am definitely prepared to try!
SWEEEEEEETTTTTT!
Sometimes we do things, just to symbolize something. Like, we do spring cleaning. Cleaning should be done every now and then, but spring cleaning symbolize a new start of the year. Stuff like that.
So, I have been doing symbolic things today. Basically packing. Packing my memories. While I was riding to and from work in the bus, I had some flashbacks on the past 10 years. Mainly on my relationship legacy. All the happy times, the bad times, the crazy times, from East to West North To South. It has been a roller coaster. I can still remember almost every single major events bout our relationship. That's the problem of my brain, too much storage. Unfortunately I can remember the bad things more than the good things. I remember just right after high school, she dumped me for some 3 guys she met in church. Worst thing was, just the day before she dumped, we had like some intimate moments. So I was told by friends that she do it once, she'll do it twice. I refute those claims. And finally gave her another chance. Then, in 2004 right after my A-levels, she dumped me again for another guy. I can still remember how i found it out, and was hurting. They just love giving reasons like wanna return to God or too much pressure stuff. Ain't love suppose to be enduring? since when a relationship is completely pressure free? Then, I thought I've learnt my lesson. But then again i felt into the same trap and finally she cheated even at a so-called "matured" age and after those we've been through. I heard so much crappy excuses that i could have written a book that titled "101 crappy excuses a person used to dump their partner". Some examples .: I got into a new environment and thought of some fresh experience. Or stuff like, He doesn't trust me (but the truth revealed that they cheat). So the list goes on.
Anyway back to the "packing". So after a deep thoughts on all those foolish moments, i finally able to pack my past memories into a "corner" of my brain and throw it away. This is also symbolized by me deleting all those related to her in my laptop, as well as most of the gifts I donated/ bin it. Sort of a spring cleaning. Erm, back to my brilliant days! No more being a noobish!
So, a little refresh on my past few months. Hasn't been that good, mainly due to health issues. On the serious side, I have spinal disc protrusion. And that puts an end to my weight training plan & my beloved badminton. On the bright side, I am still doing strength training but using other methods. My coach has proposed two fitness plans - Muay Thai! & TRX training. Both, intensive weightless training. Muay Thai gives me the ability to protect myself & beloved, while TRX is intense strength training. So all in all I am looking forward to be bit and toned up! Right now, I have some results, but not significant yet. 6 packs is seeing the light, and i just have to push harder. For once, I am a six pack owner! Of course, there are risks. Anytime the disc may exacerbate but i am not just sitting down doing nothing and get fat tummy. I am fit! Fittest 30 year old, and next time i wanna be fittest 90 year old guy!
A more minor issue now is my flu which has been already there for 2 weeks and these two days have developed toothache. Fortunately the toothache wasn't too serious, and X-Ray doesn't show any obvous nerve infection. As for the flu, hmmmm. Just hope it will be ok soon. I wanna get back to my fitness training ASAP and look good! All these sums up to excessive medical funds and thats why i'm kinda poor now.
So that's for the health stuff. Lets do a recall of what else I did. Phuket BKK trip! was one hell of a trip. Other than some undisclosed life & death experience, and also some exotic stuff, we get to meet lots of people. No potential though, but was great. Can host Victoria from US which we met so randomly in BKK. She's great and i suppose going to Chicago next time isn't a big problem anymore. Cambodia trip was the recent one, kinda not so exciting but a relaxing one. What else? meeting quite some random people these days, some girls. But all of them not quite potential to me though. I'm particularly interested in one, whom I just met for a glimps second in Pavillion the other day. Teresa is her name, very clean Korean smooth skin look. Hmmm. But she's a little too overqualified for me i felt. Hmmm, lets see if any progress.
Back to the updates soon.
So, I have been doing symbolic things today. Basically packing. Packing my memories. While I was riding to and from work in the bus, I had some flashbacks on the past 10 years. Mainly on my relationship legacy. All the happy times, the bad times, the crazy times, from East to West North To South. It has been a roller coaster. I can still remember almost every single major events bout our relationship. That's the problem of my brain, too much storage. Unfortunately I can remember the bad things more than the good things. I remember just right after high school, she dumped me for some 3 guys she met in church. Worst thing was, just the day before she dumped, we had like some intimate moments. So I was told by friends that she do it once, she'll do it twice. I refute those claims. And finally gave her another chance. Then, in 2004 right after my A-levels, she dumped me again for another guy. I can still remember how i found it out, and was hurting. They just love giving reasons like wanna return to God or too much pressure stuff. Ain't love suppose to be enduring? since when a relationship is completely pressure free? Then, I thought I've learnt my lesson. But then again i felt into the same trap and finally she cheated even at a so-called "matured" age and after those we've been through. I heard so much crappy excuses that i could have written a book that titled "101 crappy excuses a person used to dump their partner". Some examples .: I got into a new environment and thought of some fresh experience. Or stuff like, He doesn't trust me (but the truth revealed that they cheat). So the list goes on.
Anyway back to the "packing". So after a deep thoughts on all those foolish moments, i finally able to pack my past memories into a "corner" of my brain and throw it away. This is also symbolized by me deleting all those related to her in my laptop, as well as most of the gifts I donated/ bin it. Sort of a spring cleaning. Erm, back to my brilliant days! No more being a noobish!
So, a little refresh on my past few months. Hasn't been that good, mainly due to health issues. On the serious side, I have spinal disc protrusion. And that puts an end to my weight training plan & my beloved badminton. On the bright side, I am still doing strength training but using other methods. My coach has proposed two fitness plans - Muay Thai! & TRX training. Both, intensive weightless training. Muay Thai gives me the ability to protect myself & beloved, while TRX is intense strength training. So all in all I am looking forward to be bit and toned up! Right now, I have some results, but not significant yet. 6 packs is seeing the light, and i just have to push harder. For once, I am a six pack owner! Of course, there are risks. Anytime the disc may exacerbate but i am not just sitting down doing nothing and get fat tummy. I am fit! Fittest 30 year old, and next time i wanna be fittest 90 year old guy!
A more minor issue now is my flu which has been already there for 2 weeks and these two days have developed toothache. Fortunately the toothache wasn't too serious, and X-Ray doesn't show any obvous nerve infection. As for the flu, hmmmm. Just hope it will be ok soon. I wanna get back to my fitness training ASAP and look good! All these sums up to excessive medical funds and thats why i'm kinda poor now.
So that's for the health stuff. Lets do a recall of what else I did. Phuket BKK trip! was one hell of a trip. Other than some undisclosed life & death experience, and also some exotic stuff, we get to meet lots of people. No potential though, but was great. Can host Victoria from US which we met so randomly in BKK. She's great and i suppose going to Chicago next time isn't a big problem anymore. Cambodia trip was the recent one, kinda not so exciting but a relaxing one. What else? meeting quite some random people these days, some girls. But all of them not quite potential to me though. I'm particularly interested in one, whom I just met for a glimps second in Pavillion the other day. Teresa is her name, very clean Korean smooth skin look. Hmmm. But she's a little too overqualified for me i felt. Hmmm, lets see if any progress.
Back to the updates soon.
2011 didnt end that well for my family and I. A series of unfortunate events happened to my mom regarding health.
It was hard for all of us and of course hardest for my mom. I always thought celebrating new year alone at home rusting was quite pathetic as how I did some years back in Germany. but I felt motionless that time watching fireworks alone from far. this year I was in hospital watching fireworks from the wad and sadly my mom wasn't able to get down of her bed to see the fireworks. As I was starring ay the fireworks my tears suddenly start to fall from my eyes.
It was emotional. In this room I'm not the most painful person. My mom is. She is going through special much now and honest words will be that she might be facing the final stage of her life journey. Then I stare at my Samsung galaxy note and my iphone. These luxury stuff belongs to my mom. She gave us the best education. Train us up to be a real man. Useful to the society. We are who we are today because of her sacrifice, dedication and love. She gave everything to us for our brighter future. Now she is suffering and I felt so useless not being able to help.
Seriously all I want for new year now is my mom to recover soon.
Happy new year everyone. I hope this year is full of miracles
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The greatest mom
She's in such great pain now. Her physical condition is not going well. What could be worse when u knew bout the fact that you are diagnose with critical illness? How do you face it?
my mom is exactly in this position. when I look into her eyes I see a great fear and sadness in her. How do I feel? I felt tterrible. She not only cant eat which makes her really weak, she have to suffer from all those hospital tubes, she also hav to take blood sugar level every 2 hours. On top of that she knows that she is not in good Condition. How would you face such pain physically and emotionally?
The world is as we know unfair. But I never felt it so much until now. She never had the luxury to own an i phone or i pad.
Neither had she own an LV handbag. She only had a chance to travel after so many years of waiting. We were dining at Chillis having a nice juicy beef while she eat leftover homecook food. I had my first pair of nike shoes when she only buys shoes from night market. why? Because she have a vision greater than STEVE JOBS. She don't need to produce iproduct. Instead she have produce and invested two of the best product ever - Me and my Bro. one a brilliant doctor. Another an engineer. What more greater asset can you have than two great successful sons?
Now she needs care the most. Yet while suffering so much from all those tests, her mind is all about how are we doing? have we taken our lunch? Have enough sleep? Hows Work? Her mind still thinks of our welfare every second.
As I was writing this article,I am watching her resting. Is She really resting? what' s in her mind? Is she relief? Stress? painful? nostalgic? Then it struck my mind. What can I do? How to make her feel better?
I am who I am because of her. I have what I have because of her. Now, I just want to trade everything I have for her to be healthy again!
She's in such great pain now. Her physical condition is not going well. What could be worse when u knew bout the fact that you are diagnose with critical illness? How do you face it?
my mom is exactly in this position. when I look into her eyes I see a great fear and sadness in her. How do I feel? I felt tterrible. She not only cant eat which makes her really weak, she have to suffer from all those hospital tubes, she also hav to take blood sugar level every 2 hours. On top of that she knows that she is not in good Condition. How would you face such pain physically and emotionally?
The world is as we know unfair. But I never felt it so much until now. She never had the luxury to own an i phone or i pad.
Neither had she own an LV handbag. She only had a chance to travel after so many years of waiting. We were dining at Chillis having a nice juicy beef while she eat leftover homecook food. I had my first pair of nike shoes when she only buys shoes from night market. why? Because she have a vision greater than STEVE JOBS. She don't need to produce iproduct. Instead she have produce and invested two of the best product ever - Me and my Bro. one a brilliant doctor. Another an engineer. What more greater asset can you have than two great successful sons?
Now she needs care the most. Yet while suffering so much from all those tests, her mind is all about how are we doing? have we taken our lunch? Have enough sleep? Hows Work? Her mind still thinks of our welfare every second.
As I was writing this article,I am watching her resting. Is She really resting? what' s in her mind? Is she relief? Stress? painful? nostalgic? Then it struck my mind. What can I do? How to make her feel better?
I am who I am because of her. I have what I have because of her. Now, I just want to trade everything I have for her to be healthy again!
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