Happy, sustainable?

This few days have been paradise for me.  And also kinda thunderbolt.  I now finally understand some things are uncontrollable.  But I still have my reserve.  It is scary to be so enjoying but also fearing at the same time.  Perhaps its me.  When i go I go all in.  So its either i fly sky high or i fall hard down to earth.

Hmmm, it was a little due to match making by Jasmine.  She intro her "dumb" jimui to me.  Yeah, dumb she call her.  She say this jimui is really funny and giler giler. and dumb because she easily trust people.  and she's lame, just like i am.  Just by listening to the description of her,  makes me felt a lil interested.  Who doesn't like funny adorable girl right?  So i went to search her fb, check out her photos and turns out she's kinda cute to my taste.  But wasn't "that" serious about adding her.  Mainly due to my lack of BALLS! haha.

So jasmine tried harder, and hard sell me in front of her.  Her exact words to this girl was "he's not so good looking but smart and nice guy".  I kinda like this comment since it is original about me.  So after saying some nice stuff bout me to her, she went checking out my fb.  Guess what, she told Jasmine I am "quite good looking".  That is the confidence boost!  I still can't believe it and i browse my fb photo over and over again, just to find myself puking at myself the whole time.  Maybe she saw my previous muscular profile pic and she thinks i'm "dai zek".  Indeed that angular shot was a super buffed up pic, while in reality i am only a skinny but toned up guy.  So i quickly tear down that pic and put another one.  And she still think its handsome.  Bish!  Never in my life I am being labelled "handsome".  She is giler giler!

Ok so finally i have the guts to add her on fb, and sent her pm.  She replied almost instantly.  And that was during working hours.  just a few lines in fb,  immediately we moved to whatsapp adi.  WHATSAPP!!!! means i got her number and she have mine.  Ok, cut the content of the chat, but it was non stop since Wednesday morning all the way till Thusday night and even Friday morning.  And I asked her out for dinner.  The chats were so sweet and crazy that i laugh like mad, she also told me she laugh like mad. How true it is i don't know.  But yeah its crazy.  We barely knew each other but we've been sharing our past, our private lives, even exchanging photos of our lunch and dinner.  Its almost like we were together, except we are kinda complete strangers.  Its been so long i felt that way.

So, first date.  She super meat and sausage lover.  So of course I bring her to my comfort zone - German cruisine.  I pull out the chair for her to sit, help her with the menu, chat laugh chat laugh and all.  Was great.  I even got her a small gift, which is a set of cute DIY papermade photo frame, with cute mini clips and rope so she can hang up all her memories she had from her travelings.  later on, we went marina bay sand to watch the lovely night view of singapore.  sat by the riverside and it was one of those experience i always wanted, but obviously it didn't happen before her.  I admit I am already having some small crush on her.  Then we had some coffee at mbs mall, and i showed once again my gentlemen-ness by pulling her seat for her.  Later, knowing so clearly i will miss my ride home,  I still made effort to send her right down to her apartment lobby.  I think i did everything right.  And later that night we still continue our whatsapp, and she mentioned she like the pressie.  Ahhhhhhh.  Wonderful.  And out of randomness, we planed for another dinner outing the next day.  Well, mainly she want to treat me back, so we agreed upon frog porridge.  And today was so much tiring outing, so we ended early.  but to me was enjoyable one.  And until now we are still whatsapping.  lots of sweet stuff again, maybe "overflirt" i felt.

Soo sweet right?  Well,  I didn't wanna go too fast into courtship yet since I barely knew her.  I wanna know more first.  But i can see my crush for her is growing fast despite the short period.  So here come the sustainability part.  Honestly,  I can't sense how she felt about me.  Yes, she claimed i did made her smile.  Yes till now still sweet stuff, but i can sense that she is those quite outspoken type and could be treating all her other friends the same.  And really,  i might be wrong.  But she perhaps just enjoy a funny friend,  more than an interest in me.  Hmmm.

My next step ?  continue with this.  And I will try to sense what she feel bout me.  If i am certain,  I will go all out.  Just before i end this,  a major let down is that despite she thinks i'm "good looking", i am still lack of size she prefer.  She wants a lil "fatter" or rather a bigger version of me.  Does that matter?  Could be.  I am not prepared to fall yet,  but I am definitely prepared to try!

SWEEEEEEETTTTTT!