Life

How do you measure success? What is success? Success in what?
Chicken or Egg, Egg or Chicken, scientific explanation? or philosophical explanation?

There are questions and questions surrounding us, and some questions are always in running in circles, where the head is the tail and vice versa. So, now, is there a way to quantify those? Is there an absolute yes or no to those?

I like this so called "matrix of knowledge". It splits to four parts.

1.) The "known knowns" - which means, the thing that you already know and it's known.
2.) The "known unknowns" - the things that you know it exist, but you just don't know what it is.
3.) The "unknown knowns" - something you don't know but it is there.
4.) The "unknown unknowns" -things that you don't know and you don't even know that you don't know.

lolx, sounds abit difficult. But sadly it's fair to say that most of us are having more "unknowns unknowns". What we know is just so little, that most of the time we set an approximation or confidence level of acceptance.

In digital world, there are in general two values - the "ones" and "zeroes". But as an engineer, we know that there are no "absolute ones" or "absolute zeroes". When i studied science during my younger times, I always think that everything can be proven scientifically has an absolute "yes" or "no". At this Masters level, I start to realize that alot of things around us are just purely an approximation or in other words, a human self-defined "yes" or "no".

So you think it's exactly 4 o clock on 13th February 2010? what is 4 o clock? what is 4? what is o clock? is time absolute??!!!!

Think about it......

Emotional post number n

I lost count how many emo post i've posted, so the best is to use variable n to represent lol. I actually wrote this post at 5am in the morning, but didn't manage to post it up. It's pretty weird if I'm not sleeping at that hour these days. Nah I'm just kinda feeling emotional that's why. I had a really bad heacache yesterday though it hasn't been visiting me that often these days.

All the olympic streaming feeds are down today, so I guess I won't be able to watch anymore but it's gettin gboring anywayz and there's nothing i can do about it.

I should be talking about my emotional problems but the question is I don't even know why am i so emotional. Maybe it's the month of August. As mentioned before in my blog, August, Sept, and Oct had been the most wonderful months in the history. Maybe now things changed. August will no longer be a happy month for me anymore. I'm wondering, why have I forgotten all the things I've learned in the pass 3 years but year those Augsut memories are still as fresh as those seafood newly caught from the sea. Crab!!!! And I'm not just talking about last year or last 2, but it's like last 5-6 years.

I just had a chat with my ex a few hours ago and I enjoyed the chat although it was only a short 20 mins. I always enjoyed her company no matter what. But it's always after that chat, I'm starting to feel more emotional.

I really missed those old school days. I miss those midnight mamak and basketball hangouts. I miss movies outing. I missed so many things that I couldn't put it into words. Jimmy once asked me do I prefer Germany or Msia, I answered him both equally. But now, I think I changed my mind. I think I prefer Msia more because of the precious memories I had!

Infernal Affairs...Again??

I've been a lil emo today and I'm not feeling so good. I woke up with a mild headache and i've been so sleepy the whole day despite having 2 cups of concentrated coffee. Very low productivity. The only thing I did was this lame thingy....















I know I've been lame, and even with 2 infernal affairs photoshop edit(previous one with KS n Gabe), I still do it. Just to release my emo anywayz. Will update soon when i have the mood.

Losing Control

I haven't been losing control of my life for some time already. Recently, I started to feel that i'm losing it again. Somethings should have been over for a long long time, but yet it ain't over. Blame myself for that. Well we all know humans are bounded to emotions, and most of the time we follow our emotions blindly without having second thoughts. I'm recently having some emotional problems again. On the surface everything looks fine. Everything seems to be harmless, but in fact it's actually thrusting my internal feelings. Nothing hurts more than internal "injuries" because it's the hardest to cure.

I don't want to elaborate more details on what happen. Just felt like blogging out about it and hope that I'll feel better.

Anyway I noticed something, I always get really emotional when somethings are very close to an end. My project is also coming to an end and son the beginning of my thesis. Time is flowing fast, and soon I'll be completing my first degree and return home. I tend to think alot and when i do, I'll start losing control.

Yesterday I was having a double celebrations with other Malaysians to celebrate Joan's birthday + farewell for 3 seniors who will be going home soon. After that I went shopping in Essen with some of them, mainly to scout for present for my brother, who's also graduating very soon. There was a new "biggest" shopping complex called Limbecker Platz. As most of you might already know, Europe don't fancy those big shopping mall like in Asia. They normally have shopping street instead of shopping malls. I couldn't get anything for my bro because it was either too expensive or not suitable, instead the only thing i picked up was more emotional feelings. I start missing those time where i can just walk around Midvalley, eventhough it's just window shopping. I miss walking for hours and stop for coffee at starbucks or stop by for a movie. Most importantly I miss shopping with companies I wanted to hang out with. Just so different here.

Sighz...