Losing Control

I haven't been losing control of my life for some time already. Recently, I started to feel that i'm losing it again. Somethings should have been over for a long long time, but yet it ain't over. Blame myself for that. Well we all know humans are bounded to emotions, and most of the time we follow our emotions blindly without having second thoughts. I'm recently having some emotional problems again. On the surface everything looks fine. Everything seems to be harmless, but in fact it's actually thrusting my internal feelings. Nothing hurts more than internal "injuries" because it's the hardest to cure.

I don't want to elaborate more details on what happen. Just felt like blogging out about it and hope that I'll feel better.

Anyway I noticed something, I always get really emotional when somethings are very close to an end. My project is also coming to an end and son the beginning of my thesis. Time is flowing fast, and soon I'll be completing my first degree and return home. I tend to think alot and when i do, I'll start losing control.

Yesterday I was having a double celebrations with other Malaysians to celebrate Joan's birthday + farewell for 3 seniors who will be going home soon. After that I went shopping in Essen with some of them, mainly to scout for present for my brother, who's also graduating very soon. There was a new "biggest" shopping complex called Limbecker Platz. As most of you might already know, Europe don't fancy those big shopping mall like in Asia. They normally have shopping street instead of shopping malls. I couldn't get anything for my bro because it was either too expensive or not suitable, instead the only thing i picked up was more emotional feelings. I start missing those time where i can just walk around Midvalley, eventhough it's just window shopping. I miss walking for hours and stop for coffee at starbucks or stop by for a movie. Most importantly I miss shopping with companies I wanted to hang out with. Just so different here.

Sighz...