I've done one non-technical subject and Microcomputer Systems exams so far and I have another 7 to complete. Doesn't sound good but I'm glad that Microcomp. is over. I was quite confident that I can score in that paper because the questions are relatively easy but after talking to one of my classmates who wrote this exam last year, he told me that it was controversial as many candidates came out from the hall with a very confident but the results did not turn out to be that way. I hope I am not one of those victims, so i guess i should just lower down my confidence level and let the results talk by itself.
I always wanted to post one of my true feelings in this blog but I never do so because I know alot of people will hate me for doing so. But I guess I'll just rap it out. Actually I am not that happy studying here, really. I'll explain in details.
Firstly, yes I do admit I am a very lucky person to be able to further my studies abroad. I do admit that I learned alot compare to studying locally, especially in terms of life experience. I am gladful that my parents are doing so much to make sure I have a smooth process studying over here. They're not rich but I know they try very hard to support me to complete my studies here. My mom always gives me an assurance that I don't have to worry bout my financial status eventhough I know she's lying. I know she herself have difficulties and I know she's borrowing alot of money from the bank and those schemes. But I know the only thing that my mom wants in return is a scroll with statement of accomplishment of my Bachelor of Science in Electrical and Electronic Engineering. I also know it's never easy for my mom to see me leaving home for such a long period, and it's so far away from home.
But I can tell you honestly, this is just ain't what I want. I was like you guys when I'm in Malaysia after completing my A-levels. I was very excited that I can finally experience a whole new life, somewhere far from this blardy hot and dirty and nasty and OK country. But after being here for so long, I finally realized that the so called "blardy hot and dirty and nasty and OK country" is actually nothing else but the most wonderful place on earth. I know alot of you already start cursing me, you guys would probably think, "shit you have a chance to go overseas you should be greatful man!!!". I am as I mentioned, but I can tell you, studying overseas is never enjoyable. Nothing beats the feeling of being home!!!. Yes you would probably enjoy so damn much being a tourist coming to the dreamland -EUROPE. But being a student ESPECIALLY in a country where you're so damn unfamiliar with the language???, Now to make a clearer picture, trying imagining that!!! Not to forget the fact that I came here from Malaysia WITHOUT a place to stay on the 1st day. Imagine again looking for a place to stay in a foreign country without even speaking their language??!!!! I know until now I've said so many things, you all would still probably think that I'm just bullshitting. But i can tell you this - You guys will never understand how i feel.
Maybe it was just me, my character. Maybe I look like a very modern person, but deep in me, I still hold strong on my roots. I am an Asian, a Malaysian-Chinese. I still prefer the nightlife that I had in malaysia, or those mamak hangout. I still prefer being in a hot country eventhough it could be very cooling being here during summer. But summer is just 3 months in a year, and the rest of the 9 months, you'll be freezing and it really spoils your mood to get out of the house in such a cold blardy weather!!!. I hate it especially during festivals. Maybe it is also because I am just reluctant to master the language knowing the fact that i'll probably won't be able to speak anymore German after 3 years being here. Or maybe it is also because I have English, Malay and Chinese(including the dialects) firmly stored in my language brain cells, that's why it's relatively hard for me to learn a 4th language. Or I should say, I'm just not smart and capable to do so.
However, I know I'm this far. Looking at the good side, I've really learned alot. I'm not the coward that I used to be anymore. I am relatively more matured now. I overcome the fear I had when I was young. I am just a few more steps away. I am not happy here, but at the same time I just choose to forget all the unhappy feelings i have. Lets be neutral bout this. Sad to say, I will not be coming back this summer for holidays.
Anyway, thank you darling for giving me support during my exam period. Thanks for waking me up to study. Loving you means to accept everything bout you. I just want to tell you(my darling) that no matter what happen, you will still be the one I love, I care about, and the person I want to be with. There's no such thing as a perfect person on earth, but in my heart there is one - YOU my dear. Luv you baby 4ever. I hope we can appreciate each other till the very end of days.
Stress is everywhere. Exams is just 1 week ahead!!!! And I'm studying like shit!! but you know what, my darling is always there to de-stress. I don't know if she had put on a surveillance cam in my room or what, but each time while i was so stressed up and I felt so damn frustrated especially when i still don't understand something after trying to understand it so many times, there my phone rings!!! And it's not just one time coincidence, but already so many times she called exactly at the time where I'm on the edge to go nuts. She's my tranquilizer and she's my de-stress medicine. Gosh I'm so glad to have her and I just can't wait to see her.
Still on my darling. So as we all know, Mr Santa has gone home and now it's Mr Cupid's turn. Valentine's is around the corner. Hmm, regardless of male/female, or even animal, I'm sure those who had found the other half would really wanna spend this special day with their special ones. They will be wondering what kinda valentine's gift would they be receiving, or what kinda outing hav their special ones had 4 them......
As for me, I've always wanted to have one of those couple t-shirt, you know those like Levi's does every year. Yes i know it sounds very teenie, but i've not had this kinda t-shirt before and i think it would be wonderful to have one. To most ppl, couple wearing couple t-shirt are so cheesy but I really think it's sweet. and guess what.....
My valentine's wish came true. Oh btw, the pic with me posing with the shirt was actually suppose to send to my darling via MMS but i think service down or somethin...so i know you all will laugh at my pose. Oh another thing is the card was made by my darling with meaningful and funny words. She's the best. I luv it so damn much and I luv u my darling so so so damn much.
Another freezing post eh?? Sorry.
Still on my darling. So as we all know, Mr Santa has gone home and now it's Mr Cupid's turn. Valentine's is around the corner. Hmm, regardless of male/female, or even animal, I'm sure those who had found the other half would really wanna spend this special day with their special ones. They will be wondering what kinda valentine's gift would they be receiving, or what kinda outing hav their special ones had 4 them......
As for me, I've always wanted to have one of those couple t-shirt, you know those like Levi's does every year. Yes i know it sounds very teenie, but i've not had this kinda t-shirt before and i think it would be wonderful to have one. To most ppl, couple wearing couple t-shirt are so cheesy but I really think it's sweet. and guess what.....
My valentine's wish came true. Oh btw, the pic with me posing with the shirt was actually suppose to send to my darling via MMS but i think service down or somethin...so i know you all will laugh at my pose. Oh another thing is the card was made by my darling with meaningful and funny words. She's the best. I luv it so damn much and I luv u my darling so so so damn much.Another freezing post eh?? Sorry.
Exams is just 2 weeks away. Besides the exam stress, I also have to think of what to cook for the day. Weather is getting cold and suddenly i had a thought : " if only I can have a cup of hot chocolate, Milo would be the best!". Or sometimes early in the morning, before going to class and knowing that I'm going to have a long day studying in the library, that's when coffee comes handy. Only if i have a pack of 3 in 1 Nescafe. As i mentioned, it's cold these days and only if I could make a curry meal for dinner without spending hours in the kitchen.
In Malaysia, these are the things you can get anywhere, everywhere. If you're lazy to make your own, all you need to do is to drive/walk/public transport/ask ppl ta pau from the mamak stall, 24 hours a day. If you are lazy to go mamak, just get it from supermarkets/hypermarkets/7-11. See that's one positive view about malaysia and that's the one thing I envy you guys who're in Malaysia. My friends knew that, my family knew that, and my darling knew bout it.
She knew how bad i need those instant noodles, Nescafe 3 in 1, Milo and those pre-cooked spices!!!......and guess what....She sent a total of 15 kg of those stuff to me!!!
Darling thank you very very much for all these precioussssss stuff. to those ppl in malaysia, it's cheap stuff, but it's percious in germany as you can't get those here. Thank you darling, luv ya 4ever n ever baby.........appreciate it so much!!!!! and thank you darling's mom for the postage fees.....
In Malaysia, these are the things you can get anywhere, everywhere. If you're lazy to make your own, all you need to do is to drive/walk/public transport/ask ppl ta pau from the mamak stall, 24 hours a day. If you are lazy to go mamak, just get it from supermarkets/hypermarkets/7-11. See that's one positive view about malaysia and that's the one thing I envy you guys who're in Malaysia. My friends knew that, my family knew that, and my darling knew bout it.
She knew how bad i need those instant noodles, Nescafe 3 in 1, Milo and those pre-cooked spices!!!......and guess what....She sent a total of 15 kg of those stuff to me!!!
Darling thank you very very much for all these precioussssss stuff. to those ppl in malaysia, it's cheap stuff, but it's percious in germany as you can't get those here. Thank you darling, luv ya 4ever n ever baby.........appreciate it so much!!!!! and thank you darling's mom for the postage fees.....
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