I feel freaking tired everyday actually but not because there are lots of work. In fact I don't have much work for the first week. But I guess just like old times, I need time to get used to the timing. Sitting in the MRT for 1 hour to office 1 way isn't that stressful but kinda boring. I usually get a place to sit because in the morning trains are more frequent and I'm always quite fast in securing a place to sit. When I get my first month salary, I'll get an ipad 2. Ok yes I'm still not a big apple fan but the reason I get ipad 2 is because my uncle and my brother have one. Easier for me to synchronize with them. Later, I also plan to get smartphone, but I might go for Samsung or HTC. Samsung is my first choice because they offer much better hardware specs for the same price u pay for an iphone. Only concern is, android is still pretty much in development stage and I am quite impatient to see them stabilize. I know they will reach one day where they can compare one to one with iOS, the question is when that's all. At this age I'm still quite keen on gadgetings, but the next life transition I might have different hobby I wanna invest on, such as automobile or other mean toys.
Ok, back to work. Not much girls around my office as expected. Microelectronics are never popular subjects for female anyway. Colleagues are relatively good, not close though. Perhaps I'm still new to them. Last friday i even tear my face and force my boss and his gang to accept me for their dinner outing which from their expression not quite willing to. I can see why. Not that they don't like me, but with me along they have to be very careful with their conversation. Like in the car they did talk about foreign talent, and can see that they're filtering alot of stuff. They try to cover it with Hokkien sometimes, but I can roughly guess what they're saying though not knowing Hokkien. They also wanted to go for full body massage and stuff like that, which I suppose they don't want me to join and also they know I'm new guy so shouldn't take such a long lunch break. I also learnt my lesson, I'll not go with them so often unless I'm called to. Other than relationship with colleagues, the technical part is kinda challenging for me. Even the internship guy is much more active than me and much more pro than me. The upcoming new project our principal engineer gave him most of the task, which left me like a noob. I'm still in 3 months probation period and I wonder if they'll find me too useless and will kick me out within this period. Sigh......
Other thing such as I'm kinda missing someone. But well, u can't get happyness by force. Two different person with different priorities in life eventually will end up fighting and struggling. How did we get together in the first place? Simple. It was feelings. I still love her, but love isn't everything if we've tried to live together and failed. All those sweet memories, they can be so sweet because our relationship wasn't put into test. Once it is, it is proven that the relationship has been quite fragile all this while. It's just like a Ferrari. Sweet, but once it get crashed up, the damage is far worse than other cars. Pity and sad, but that's life I guess. After officially breaking up for 4 months, I am still in the state of recovering, and in fact my recovery status is just like 4 months ago - felt like I'm just starting to recover. I'm kinda concern too if I would ever get another partner in the future knowing my lousy qualities and my low self esteemness. I guess only she appreciate my lousy qualities and convince me I'm somebody even I can't convince myself. But I should stressed out that it is all now in the past. Past tense. I am always confident that she'll be able to get a guy much better than me in a short time. I hope she does. But, being selfish, I don't wanna know. I don't know if I am mature enough to take that news or not. So if anyone related to her knows about this news, please don't busybody go and tell me.
Looks like this two weeks, there's nothing much I can look forward to. It will be the same old 9-6 working thingy, weekend same old badminton and that's about it. I am looking forward for my graduation, but not the ceremony. I'm just looking forward for my parents and my brother to come over to visit me that's all.
I felt empty at this point again. Empty life. Sigh.....zzzz
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