A life with/without alcohol

How many of u guys believed that smoking can distress, drinking can make u numb from all the sad things u're facing? As for me, i don't believe in all these shits!! 4 things i won't do, drinking, smoking, taking drugs and gambling. I actually set those rules since i was young. Just right before i came to germany, something really bad happened to me, which at that time couldn't control myself anymore. I was too childish at that time. I thought alcohol can sterilize a person's pain. There's where it all started. 2 cans of carlsberg in my condominium about 2am in the morning. So did it work?? what do u think???

After landed in germany, i get to know that alcohol here are tax free and are cheaper than malaysia. From time to time, Me and a bunch a new friends, will get some new alcohol we've not tried before. My first bought was Jack Daniels since I saw one bottle of it in Sheng Wa's house b4 i left. I start to luv it for some reason. We tried so many others, martini, vodka, white beer, tequila, sangria. Though i'm still weak at drinking, but it's like alcohol came into my life since. The first time i came back to malaysia, i attended Gold Win's bday party. again we had chivas. Then when i visited my brother in Ireland, Guinness and Baileys. In UK Johnny walker. I even had some weird alcohols which i don't remember their names.

So what am i trying to say at this point?? The question now is did i ever enjoy it? Answer is No! Since April last year, I totally stop drinking anymore. I start to realized that I'm losing myself as in those 4 things i've mentioned before. How can i break such a rules i set for myself? I totally stops. There's one significant effect, i felt more healthy since then. The only part which i allow alcohol to come is cooking wine. Some food taste special with cooking wine, or even dishes like XO sauce steak etc etc. But i'll not drink alcohol anymore.

Why did i mentioned bout alcohol? Because I was disappointed with someone. I always tell someone not to think of the past, not to think of the bad things they've done. Forgive is forgive. But I guess i failed myself. One of the main reason i stop alcohol is because of someone that i care of, the words that came out from her mouth, it's a commitment to myself and to her. But guess what, some people doesn't realized what they've said before. Probably they don't realized how serious their words are. I hate it when i did something i thought it would make me and the other party happier but behind me, they're doing the things themselves. It's the same reason why i started playing snooker. Somebody forbid me to play because usually a snooker center are filted with nicotine. But on the other hand, that person was doing the things which i'm forbidden to do so. It was all about commitment and mutual respect, but sometimes i felt unfair that i respect, i commit to it, but the other side is not.

Anywayz, I'm really in a feeling which no one can describe. It's not my business actually, but just don't know why i care. Maybe it's my personality. I can't be a cold blooded person. But i really hope one day i will. It's time for a 360 change in my life again.