Dream inside a dream (2 layers now)

I guess the fight is over. Actually it is already kinda awkward that we're still fighting after the break up. But I guess it is necessary at least both side is much clearer what is destined for us and what actually happened in the past. Well, it isn't really a mutual break up but at this point, I guess its fair to say it is unavoidable. Just one phrase summary, we just have our own way of handling htings and unable to tolerate with each other.

Ok, since this is over, there's no point talking about it anymore. The sweet memories will always be with me and will always pop up from time to time. But it's time for more serious stuff. I am already consider old and at the moment quite a useless person on earth.

I am talking bad about myself, but it is partially true. I am really low in confidence now. From the previous Friday until now, I have already being interviewed by 7 companies. 2 of them are called up because I was short listed. The other 5 was more like a career fair and I just did a walk in Interview. Everyone is very envious about my situation. But I can tell you honestly, non of those interview that I am confident to nail the job. Yes it's still early to tell, but it's like exams. You know exactly how you perform, and if you perform badly or so so, you can only hope that either the other candidates aren't performing well too, or basically no other candidates. Well, being a pessimistic person, and knowing my own performance during interview, it is likely I will nail any job. But of course I am still hoping I will receive phone calls from them for job offers.

I don't know what type of response or how they conduct interview for other professions. But at least I know for my field, in particular chip design, they don't usually ask you trick questions nor will they ask you questions that will proof your intelligence. In this field especially for a fresh graduates, the only thing they really want is a strong fundamentals in the theory. Most of the questions they ask are questions that have only a right or wrong solution. What I mean is for example they won't go and ask "give me 3 reasons why I should not hire you?" stuff like that. I classify these questions as abstract questions, where there are no right or wrong answer, but every answer you give reflects your intelligence or in general your character. Of course, one of the interview he asked me what is my greatest strength and weakness. That's about it.

Really, I am starting to doubt if I am suitable for this field despite obtaining a masters with a good grade. It's like I am not even strong with my fundamentals. I have been reading up for each interview, but when it comes to the real situation I just couldn't explain things well. Yes I did a good job in Bosch, and perhaps my working ability is good. But what's the point if I can't even get through the interview stage? Sigh.

These days I have been dreaming about the next morning waking up with a phone call about job offers. I am so desperate for job now. I need money to flow. On the lowest level, I need the money because I am staying in my uncle's place for free and I don't feel good about it. It's time for a payback. Also, at the age of 26, I should be doing something useful. On the luxurious side, I am already eyeing on some gadgets and goods I want to purchase and services I need to sign up for.

About gadgets, the first thing I want to get is a tablet. No, I am not going for Ipad. I am eyeing on the Asus EEE Pad Transformer(or Slider) with 3G. It is definitely much cheaper and it's android based. I have good faith with android because since it is own by google, it will be much easier for compatibility in the future because almost everything from the internet is own by google. The other advantage over ipad is the programmability, or customization. Ok, android tablet, the next target is android smartphone. HTC is my choice, and i think i'll go for incredible S series. And hopefully by end of the year, I am able to get some telezoom lens for my 550D.

Service is my physical appearance. First I need to get rid of my pimples. So it's time to see skin specialist which obviously gonna cost me alot. Then, orthodontist to beautify and to healthify my teeth. Yes yes, perhaps it's kinda late to wear braces but well, it's for my future anywayz. Then, I wanna sign up for German courses, continue to brush up my German. I believe my English level is good enough, so as my Chinese. I think it's advantageous to have a strong German background so I can deal with German customers in the future. Finally, I wanna take up Guitar courses as well.

Hmmm, ambitious me.