Everything has an opposite side. We humans like to differentiate things in general to right or wrong. I'm not a Philosopher and neither have I done my Doctor Philosophy, but I have my views on right or wrong, guilt and regrets, happy and sad...and many more.
I always mentioned that when it comes to decision making, we have our rational part and emotional part. Sometimes we make decision based on very solid prove and taking every consequences into account, but sometimes we just choose to follow our heart. Of course in most situation, rationality gives us the right solution, but not all the time. Sometimes we have to follow what our heart says.
I have been very emotional these days. In fact I made alot of decision and action based on emotion. Sometimes it does bring me guilt in terms of the so called "right or wrong", or in simple way it's simply wrong to do so, but i rather have guilts than regrets. A close friend of mine once told me, as long as you're happy just do it.
But I just want to say, no matter how wrong it is or how much guilt it can bring to me, I know what I'm doing. I'm emotionally rational.
Remember my post about losing confidence? I think I've started to gain back some. I really don't know where the energy come from. I guess mainly its the support of my friends. I've been driving further now and though I've still phobias of parallel parking or sometimes even reverse park, but at least I manage to drive to One Utama and SS2 without any problems or fear. I think I know that's the main problem before this -MYSELF. I'm just so reluctant to adapt back to the culture here. I felt I don't belong here, neither do I belong to anywhere else. After my acceptance in Singapore NTU, I felt I have to adapt myself to the culture here, afterall singapore's culture is not much different from Msia, most part of it.
Anyway I do hope for a time freeze machine. Or rather I hope for a time travel machine. I want to turn back time. I want to repent those mistakes I've ever done. I wish I can start my life again. Well, no need to restart from the beginning, just bring me back to moments where I need to patch things up.
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3 comments:
U should feel it with your heart and strong desire as u make decision. Just do it when there is no harm in your life. That's God created the feeling for us to understand the value of life.
congratulations! i'm sure a few more times of driving will let yuu gain more of yur confidence back. ;)
of course yuu belong here. here is yur home. :)
hmm. if given to me, i'd prefer time preserving machine rather than time travelling. because, if i were to go back and change something, things might turned out totally different, or totally undesirable at all. that's what i think. ^^;;
hey anonymous, thx for da comment. well sometimes those decision could be life threatening, or at least it does do some harm psychologically or emotionally. every path taken has a consequences. just that some ppl can bare with it, some can't. I know in these situation, I'm losing out. but yet i have a strong desire to continue with it.
Jess, thanx. though i have more practice now, i sometime still fear in da road. but at least i'm at the right track.
haha. home is still something i dont feel alot, except when i'm with family n friends.
i prefer both at this moment actually. i wish i could time travel back to those happy moments n freeze it.
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