Day 2 in Prague. Day 5 of my trip overall. A month ago, I left lots of expectation on this trip. To me it was a trip that brought many meanings. One was some sort of "graduation"trip. A family reunion trip. and a trip for me to release my emoness after what happened last two months.

I didn't quite enjoy as I expected I would be. Mainly because my parents are slow and I have alot of moments when I'm alone. I'm alone and it is always the most dangerous part where I get very emotional. Paris was a romantic city. Prague, a party city. I was never a party guy and never had parties with her but Since the previous time we broke up until we got back together, she was a party girl and all these while I guess my mind haven't stop thinking she is. That's why it reminds me of her so much.

Of course besides that, I've seen lots of couples on the street especially those Asian ones that made me really emotional. I was suppose to be in trip with my family and love one, but it didn't happen. I feel terribly bad that I couldn't find ways to fully enjoy the trip and I felt sorry for my parents who came so far just to face my black grumpy face. I get very impatient even to my parents these days. I guess it hurts so much that I can't recover my emotion everytime I think of it. Two months have past. The first month I took it quite ok. Perhaps it's because I still have friends to hang out and kept myself occupied and during the day time I have work to do. That time I never thought that I am kinda desperate for love. Just don't know why now I feel so much. I didn't wanted to share with my mother because I don't know how to. We never shared these stuff before.

Sigh. Is it really that bad? Why am I so desperate? Why can't I enjoy some single life first? I don't know. Perhaps I felt I am so low confident that I could never get another romance after this. Perhaps I am getting older and also starting to worry about not able to get one later. I see those Asian couples on the street, and i observe that some girls are quite pretty but yet the boyfriend is like fucking ugly. I mean I am never confident about my looks anyway, but if I can say they're ugly, means they're really fucking ugly. BUt they got the girl. I ask myself why I don't? OK besides my looks I think I have lots of quality. I am not a playboy, not those alcoholic, a good guy with big brains and some talents. Why am I not getting it? Shit man. I think girls like bad boys not ppl like me!