Day 2

I manage to sleep somewhere around 2-3am ytd and manage to wake up on time to office. As I've mentioned, my workload is getting more these days and finally I am given the professional version of the tool i'm using for my design. Took me some time to learn the functionality, but now its up and running, I guess i'll be busy for the next few days. Good thing is, I can get myself to focus on my work at least in the office so i won't get too depressed. However, the emotional feeling still strikes me from time to time no matter where i am. I mean, for the whole past 2 years, its been all about her. Almost everything i do.

As usual, tears still dropping while I am at home. I can't control it. Its like every few mins I got strike by this heartache, and then my tears burst out. I don't think I can ever get through this the way I see it. Just one month ago I was enjoying my time so much, and just 1 week ago, everything seems still going smoothly. I looked back at my V-day gifts, its so wonderful. The words in the card kept popping up my mind. How would i forget?

I also got bad news about jobs, just got rejected by a company in Germany. Right now, i felt really down. I felt I am incapable of almost everything. My life seems to be so ruined at this point. I can't even barely smile.