Anger + X

To be honest, wasn't a good week for me. To be honest, I had myself motivated because on Tuesday I receive smses which not that special in terms of the content, but it was sms I was hoping for it to arrive. Then my excitement drove me the whole few days, until today I start to realize again, that the person who sent me the sms is already gone from my side. It is hard for me to recover, cause I know myself. I am very serious with my relationship and now it is over, I take it seriously as well. If one day you find me totally being able to let go, its either there's some miracle happen or perhaps I'm dead. But whatever it is, I have to realize that it is over, sooner or later. Just that, it is easy to say, clear what I should do, but just too difficult to execute it.

So besides being sad, I was furious as well. My facebook has turn ugly, being accused of things which are totally the opposite, but I just keep it low. Not that I am lazy to defend myself, but it seems I've been doing that the whole time and the only thing I get is me being childish and always trying to win. Eventually, everyone knows I'm the loser. So what did I win? You tell me. Perhaps you can enlighten me or make me happy by telling me that.

Anyway, its soon coming to the end of March and April, suppose to be one of those months that I totally look forward to, has become now something that I doubt I'll be happy about.

You know, even now we've parted our separate ways, the only thing that kept striking me was how good to have her, and how much she've done for me. I always value the time we've been. Its not even about who's right who's wrong. I've my low times, I've my ridiculous moment, so as everyone. Just felt human being can turn the table around when things turn bad. Now, I am the bad one. And because of that, I'm not suppose to be sad. I am suppose to be the happy one. Right?

Well, just look at who's the one being happy and who's the one being sad. Yes, when I'm writing this post, I'm feeling full of anger, jealousy, hatred, sadness and all the negative feelings. I should let go. If she's happy, I should let go. I bet she is. So, please let go!