Emotional ver.3

Episode 3. I was very emotional today but the "sensorship board" in my brain tells me that there're some part I'm not suppose to upload into this blog. I'll just tell whatever I could.

I had a chat with my friend via skype today. The first half was about our personal story and the second half we talk about "sandwich". Not the sandwich that we eat, My meaning os sandwich is that a person is stuck between something. Sometimes these situations are quite unavoidable and I'm sure most of you guys hav been in this position. The easiest and the most common examples are being in between family and friends. Who comes first?? Who's right who's wrong?? Friends and Girlfriends/boyfriends. Even between Dad n mom. Pretty hard eh?? Well, I was actually thinking about one of my friend who was in between me and someone else. He told me the truth but on the other hand he has to lie to the other person. But he has to tell me that otherwise things might be much worse for me, but on the other hand comparatively its a small matter that he lied to the other person. However, its still a lie, its a bad thing to do. So how do u judge this situation? Was the act of my friend forgivable??? or he's still in a wrong for lying, though the lie he made was important to rescue me?? Sighz, I just want to apologize for bringing my good friend into such situation but also need to thank him for giving me such big help.

Oh btw that wasn't part of my down emotion today. Mainly it was exams. I've started reading ISSE, which is the 2nd paper. As for the 1st paper, it's not easy but not that hard either, so I'll spend the next week reading on that. this ISSE is not as easy as i thought after finishing the first chapter. There are 4 chaps and has everything to do wif fundamental physics, specifically Quantum Mechanics. I'm a QM lover. I hav full interest in physics, esp modern physics but this shit is pretty hard. One of my lecturer once told us, "Mathematics makes the methods available, Engineers must interpret the results properly and find the suitable model function". Roughly it also means that sceintist make formulas available, we, Engine-"not"-near(described by da godfathar) apply the formulaz to our daily life. During A-level we learned a lil bout fundamentals of quantum physics and some formulas available like Plancks n Einsteins, but now we learn much into details and I hav to learn this becoz electron, or all these photon energy blablabla are required in Electronics, one good example would be semiconductors. Not goin into details wif all this Engine-not-near terms.....Well basically what I wanna say is that though I've learn the basics b4 and its one of my fav topics but its farkin hard stuff.

Today is the 14th, another 37 days I'll be back home. Looks like I have to cancel one of my plans which is to watch Michael 光良's concert. Couldn't get the cheap tics and I ain't a big fan of him so i rather not spend more for a more Xpensiv tics. But still I'll made some plans for that day. Thinking of going back makes me also miserable. Reason?? Simple. I'll be back for roughly 2 months and by the time I'll be back in Germanie it'll be my final year, or at least 1 1/2 years b4 i grad. I guess it would be a tough year ahead for me. though looking forward to come back, but if i look further to the near future, there are more sad stuff than happy stuff. Sighz, life is getting harder and harder, but as i said in my previous post:"Since the world won't change to adapt to my needs, I'll have to change myself to adapt to the world's needs".

Anywayz exams and the future ar part of the reason i'm moody. There's more but not to be mentioned. I've been doing a lil home work out these days but now i'm feeling pain all over my body. I'm just weak, but i'm determined. I wanna hav at least an average body shape. I'm in Europe and I'm already like "hobbits" to them. IF i still don't build up, I'll be "smeagol" to them very soon.