Thoughts

This is my second post of the day. I was thinking of something moments ago and I would like to find someone to talk about it but at this time, everyone is still in bed. So I decided to blog. Well this post will be kinda emo and a lil misleading. I guess only those that are involve would know.

I was thinking of the past, had a lil flashback. Its 8th August 2006 another 2 days will be a day i would remember. 2 years back on the 10th August 2004, It was the most painful day of my 21 years of life. It was my break up with my first and only sweetheart so far. I've told the whole world in my older posts that I'm already let go. So maybe you guys might be wondering, Wat da hell am I thinking? Here's the explanation. I've already let go and I wasn't upset about the break up anymore. I remember the date clearly because I guess its consider one of the biggest things that happen to me along with 5th April 2002, 9th April 2002 and many more. Maybe thats why ppl say "first cut is the deepest" and you can't blame me because I have only one so far. Don't worry about me coz its just a temporary down feeling.

I had some chat session with my ex for the past few days. It was quite enjoyable actually talking about our past relationship. Those tense moments last time are now something for us to laugh at while those Sweet moments are to be remembered always. We speak about how childish we were last time, quarreling over small things. I remember last time I was an impatient, sensitive, a "stone" guy and many more negative character. I easily get jealous and being such a control freak. I'm sensitive towards even those tiny winy things that causes a big massive quarrel. Those who knew me since High school, will know that I'm seriously like a stone. I seldom smile and joke especially when my ex is around me. Trying to act cool I guess. Thinking about those moments really make me laugh.

Well, according to my ex, I've changed alot. I'm a much more cheerful person with slightly better sense of humour now. I don't get angry easily anymore. It took me a long time to actually scrap all the bad attitude away. And untli now I'm still trying to improve myself from time to time. I still remember one year ago, I was a total coward. I'm afraid to face the fact that we've broke up and I try my very best to avoid contacting my ex with any means of communication. I refuse to approve her friendster request, deleted her from MSN, erase her phone number from my contact list(which is crap because I clearly remember her telephone number in my brain) and many other stupid things. I was afraid that if we start chatting again, I might start to feel sad again. But now, everything changes. I feel very comfortable talking to her. We're best friends just like how we used to be before we were together. Thanks to her, I'm slowly building up my self confidence and courage again.

Sorry for being so emo in this post. I feel much better now. I guess I should say happy 2nd break up "aniversary" to her..lolz. It took me around 2 years to let go a 3 1/2 years relationship. Hmm, wonder if anyone can break my "record"?? Haha, I guess not, especially for guys.